Erwartungslos – Befreie Dich von allen Erwartungen

Mir standen alle Türen dieser Welt offen, meine Umwelt veränderte sich schneller denn je, ich eilte umher ohne zu wissen wohin und vergaß dabei das Wichtigste, mich selbst. Geplagt von hunderten Erwartungen, die ich selbst nicht mal wahrnahm, eiferte ich einem Ideal hinterher, welches ich selbst nicht verstand. Egal, ob die eigenen Erwartungen an mich oder die Erwartungen anderer Menschen, selten nahm ich auch nur eine davon bewusst wahr und erkannte sie als Hindernis. Die Auswirkungen wurden mir jedoch immer deutlich(er).

Erwartungen – Woher kommen sie?Stressgefühl durch Erwartungen

Du kennst das sicher auch: Es steht ein wichtiger Termin an oder du bekommst seltenen Besuch. Was kommt dir dabei als erstes in den Sinn? Natürlich all das, was du noch zu erledigen, vorzubereiten oder zu planen hast. „Was zieh ich an?“, „Was gibt es zu essen?“, „Wer trinkt was?“, „Ist alles aufgeräumt, geputzt, sauber?“. Es entsteht Stress in dir, weil du bemerkst, dass es eng wird, all diese Dinge noch rechtzeitig und perfekt umzusetzen. Du hast schon die schlimmsten Szenarios im Kopf, wie alles verlaufen wird.

Vielleicht merkst du jetzt bereits beim Lesen, wie unsinnig dieses Verhalten erscheint. Und ja, das ist es auch. Aber warum machen wir uns überhaupt solch einen Stress? Die Antwort ist ganz einfach: Wir haben das Gefühl, Erwartungen (meist sogar sehr oder zu hohe) erfüllen zu müssen. Das können Erwartungen sein, die wir an uns selber stellen, aber auch jene, die wir durch andere Menschen in unserem Umfeld zu spüren bekommen.

Nun, woher kommen sie denn überhaupt, die Erwartungen?

kritische Einschätzungen rufen Erwartungen hervorUnser ganzes Leben, unsere Persönlichkeit, unserer Äußeres sowie unser Inneres wird vordergründig durch äußere Einflüsse bestimmt. Dazu gehört alles, was wir bewusst UND unbewusst wahrnehmen. Jeder Moment in unserem Leben hinterlässt etwas bei uns. Und aus diesen Momenten entstehen Erfahrungen. So können beispielsweise aus diesen Erfahrungen Erwartungen entstehen, wenn wir von einer anderen Person für etwas gelobt oder kritisiert werden. Unser Unterbewusstsein speichert ab, wie die andere Person auf unsere Taten reagiert hat und wird uns dementsprechend beim nächsten Mal auf diese Sachen aufmerksam machen.

Natürlich ist dies nur eine vereinfachte Darstellung des Ganzen. Aber in der Summe dieser Erfahrungen, entstehen in uns Erwartungen, die wir zu erfüllen versuchen. Man kann sich wohl kaum vorstellen, wie viele Erfahrungen wir in unserem Leben gemacht haben, die uns bis heute prägen. Eins sei sicher: es waren viele…sehr viele. Häufig sind die eigenen Erwartungen auch nur durch andere in unserem Umfeld entstanden.

Erwartungen – Wie äußern sie sich?

Woran erkenne ich denn nun, ob es sich bei meinen Gedanken, Ängsten oder Meinungen, um die handelt, die aus Erwartungen entstanden sind? Erwartungshaltungen haben verschiedene Eigenschaften, die sie häufig und besonders auszeichnen:

Ich möchte anderen gefallen: Du machst etwas und dich plagt dabei ständig der Gedanke, was die anderen Menschen wohl davon halten werden. z.B. wenn du dir neue Klamotten kaufst oder etwas im Internet postest

Perfektionismus: Du bist kaum zufriedenzustellen und hast immer wieder das Gefühl, etwas sei noch nicht gut genug und verbesserungswürdig. z.B. wenn du dein Zuhause hundert mal überprüfst, bevor du deine Gäste empfängst

Stress- / Druckgefühl: Du verspürst Anspannung und Druck und fühlst dich unter Stress, während du etwas machst. z.B. wenn ein wichtiger Termin oder sogar ein wichtiger Geburtstag vor der Tür steht und du noch keinen Plan hast oder noch viele Dinge besorgen musst

Es ist oftmals gar nicht so leicht, die Eigenschaften, die ich hier aufgezählt habe, voneinander zu trennen. Aber das muss ja auch gar nicht klappen. Immerhin beweist dies wieder, wie schnell man in die Erwartungsfalle tappen kann. Und wir alle tappen da öfter man rein. Außerdem habe ich hier lediglich 3 Eigenschaften aufgezählt. Die Liste kann wahrscheinlich unendlich fortgeführt werden.

Erwartungen – Erwartungsfrei leben

Alltagssituationen in denen Erwartungen eine Rolle spielen

Haben wir jetzt einmal geklärt, worum es sich bei den Erwartungen handelt und wie man sie erkennt, ist natürlich auch entscheidend, das Wissen anzuwenden. Sicherlich fragst du dich jetzt, wie du diese vermeintlich negativen Erwartungen loswirst…Folge einfach diesen 4 simplen Schritten:

Schritt 1: Erkenne Erwartungshaltungen in deinem Alltag. Du weißt bereits einiges darüber, woran man Erwartungen erkennen kann.

Schritt 2: Analysiere die Situation, in der sich die Erwartungshaltung äußert. Wodurch wird sie hervorgerufen? Kommt sie direkt von außen oder hast du sie selbst an dich gerichtet?

Schritt 3: Beeinflusst dich diese Erwartung negativ? Wirst du dadurch gebremst, gestresst, angespannt? Entfernst du dich dadurch von deinen eigenen, tief in dir drin steckenden Ansichten und Werten?

Damit hast du jetzt vermutlich festgestellt, dass diese Erwartung für dich sinnlos und nicht notwendig ist.

Sich bewusst gegen Erwartungen stellen

Schritt 4: Befreie dich von dieser Erwartung. Versuch die Erwartung einfach an dir vorbeiziehen zu lassen. Du hast sie erkannt und für unnötig empfunden, also mach dir bewusst, wie dein Leben ohne diese Erwartungshaltungen aussehen wird. Du wirst befreiter, glücklicher, kannst das Leben mehr genießen und bleibst mehr bei dir selbst.

soziales Umfeld

Frei und losgelöst – Ein Leben ohne all die Erwartungen

Du bist nun du selbst und mutierst nicht zu Kopien anderer Menschen in deinem Umfeld. Das Leben wird für dich viel entspannter werden und du lässt den Druck der anderen nicht auf dich wirken. Ich weiß, dass du nur dein bestes Selbst sein möchtest, also gib dieser Sache eine Chance und befolge diese 4 einfachen Schritte. Habe jedoch Geduld. Wie alles im Leben, wird auch das nicht von jetzt auf gleich klappen. Feiere jeden kleinen Erfolg und steigere dich schrittweise hin zu deinem Ziel. Ich glaube an dich. Fang direkt an und verschwende deine wertvolle Zeit nicht mit dem Aufschieben. Sobald du deine ersten Erfolge wahrnimmst, wirst du dran bleiben wollen. Aber zuerst musst du etwas für deine Erfolge tun!

 

Was denkst du darüber? Stimmst du mir zu oder bist du anderer Meinung? Gerne kannst du auch zusätzliche Gedanken erwähnen. Hinterlasse einfach einen Kommentar hier unten! Ich freue mich auf deine Nachricht!

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